A premium is often placed on work done in new frontiers. Christopher Columbus for instance, was paid handsomely to find valuable resources in untamed foreign lands. Microsoft and Google race to build data centers and hire top talent, as they invest in AI and other hot technologies.
Personal Sacrifices
My company works on major construction projects which are often set up in remote or rural areas. This is due to the amount of land needed and the site owner’s attempt to reduce impact to the environment and municipalities.
While the pay is great for these projects, it comes with a small but important personal cost for me. Umm, where’s a black girl supposed to get her hair done in “the middle of nowhere”?
Identity & Effort
Central to my identity as a black woman, is that I look groomed and have options for my hair, hygiene and beauty needs. Particularly because I’m already fighting stereotypes and racist ideology on site. Although comments about natural hair haven’t been as bold and rude as decades ago, I know full well that just because they don’t say it to my face, doesn’t mean it isn’t mentioned behind closed doors.
So I took it upon myself to practice braiding and styling my own hair. At first I got a co-worker (a fellow phenomenal bi-racial woman) to part and braid my hair. It was fantastic and I appreciated the care she put into my strands.
However, I love a good challenge and eventually our schedules (and my restlessness) necessitated that I figure out how to conquer my coils.
The Challenge
On many occasions back home with the family I would have been interrupted a dozen times and gotten frustrated at every mistake. Being alone in Ohio worked in my favor. The trick would be to follow the patterns of the last braider. I washed my scalp with the last set of braids still intact and one by one, made each braid better than the last.
Progress
The first time it took me 10 hours to do medium size box braids, and the only presentable part were the edges. My worst case scenario was that I could hide the botched parts within the dense forest of tresses.
The second time it took me 8 hours to do slightly larger box braids. This time I realized the parts that mattered were the edges, the top, and the crown. This batch were my best to date, and I credit that too knowing in advance which areas were for show and which were for throw (as in throw them thangs into a ponytail and let’s go to work).
Shockingly, the third time it took me 6 hours to wash, detangle, part and braid my hair into medium box braids. Y’all I felt like a million bucks. A baddie as the cool kids would say! I was incredibly proud and couldn’t believe I’d finally mastered braiding my own hair.
Try Again?
Recently, the project has demanded a lot more of my focus and energy. Yet my hair still needs to be maintained. We’ve come too far to be looking like someone threw me away as my mom would say.
I started braiding my hair expecting to be finished in that same 6 hours and realize that same beautiful end result. But this time it took a disappointing 7.5 hours and guess what, my parts were not perfect.
Reality check
I told my coworker about it feeling like a let down. Here’s how the conversation went:
Co-worker: “Girl no one cares!”
Me: “But I do!”
Co-worker: “Yeah but only because you think the guys will notice, when really the only people who will actually know the difference and what it even took to do that on YOURSELF, is you and me. You look gorgeous and it is the best you can do right now. Accept that and enjoy it.”
Me: *speechless*
She was so right! The uneven parts of me are things I work hard to improve and that’s admirable, but the fact is the people who will notice the uneven parts in the first place are actually proud of you for even trying.
Is that ok?
Now I’m taking this lesson and branching it out to other things. My blog, can’t always get brilliant, witty, creative Casey. My family, won’t always have rested, chipper, organized Casey. And best believe my job will learn to appreciate the days when showing up was a big win for me …and them.
The truly important part of our worth isn’t how close to perfect we can get, it’s how much effort we’re putting towards what matters to us. It matters more that the destination we’re working towards is one worth getting up for and working 10 hours to get better at.
Columbus underestimated his voyage and destination. And he had the nerve to be unapologetic about it! Microsoft intentionally sends out defective software knowing that more than likely they’ll make up for it on another day.
Try to be more forgiving of yourself on days when you can only meet the minimums. There’s plenty people who wouldn’t even try to meet that!
What’s Next?
I hope this post helped you go easier on yourself. If so, share it and follow @crazywallcasey on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, TikTok to get notified of new posts.
